Category: Dirty Humor

Trump Insults Protester “Your Mother is Voting for Trump!”

Protesters brought Trump’s rally in Erie, Pennsylvania to a brief halt, carrying signs demanding that the GOP candidate release his “tax forms.”

As the protesters were calmly escorted out of the stadium, Trump did not respond, besides quipping that Bernie Sanders‘ protesters had a lot more passion.

One reporter tweeted that there were Black Lives Matter protesters in the venue as well. Trump responded, “Go home to mom! And your mother is voting for Trump! She’s voting for Trump!”

Trump has repeatedly refused to release his tax returns, citing on ongoing audit. Experts have pointed out that there is no reason why an audit should preclude him from releasing his returns. Trump has even refused to release returns prior to those years that he claims are currently under audit.

(h/t Mediaite)

Reality

Normally “yo mama” jokes are meant as an insult.

Media

Trump Ejects Mother and Child From Rally, ‘You Can Get the Baby Out of Here’

Most politicians kiss babies, Donald Trump ejects them about as fast as he would a protester

During a rally in Ashburn, Virginia, Trump tried to reassure a distressed mother with a crying baby that he loves hearing babies cry at his rallies and told her not to worry — only to change his mind just a moment later and had them removed.

“I love babies. I hear that baby cry, I like it,” Trump said at a campaign event as a baby could be heard crying in the audience. “What a baby. What a beautiful baby. Don’t worry, don’t worry. The mom’s running around, like, don’t worry about it, you know. It’s young and beautiful and healthy and that’s what we want.”

But less than two minutes later, as the baby continued to wail, Trump took back his words.

“Actually I was only kidding, you can get the baby out of here,” he said to laughs. “I think she really believed me that I love having a baby crying while I’m speaking. That’s OK. People don’t understand. That’s OK.”

(h/t CNN)

Reality

CNN’s Jason Carroll described Trump supporters at the event loving Trump ejecting the mother and her baby.

“At one point there was a baby that was crying here in the audience, and he said, ‘Oh, we love babies, they’re beautiful, let him keep crying.’”

“He kept talking and then at another point, he said, ‘Okay, enough with the baby. I’m done with the baby.’”

“I’m paraphrasing but the crowd laughed,” Carroll continued. “They enjoyed it. Was it a bit off color? Yes. But this is what people like about this man.”

Update

Daniel Dale, a reporter from the Toronto Star, was sitting right behind her and wrote that the entire incident was mischaracterized.

The mother also corroberated Dale’s account, telling Fox News that after her baby started crying and Trump noticed it, she already had started making her way out the door.

So either this is a case of bad optics or poor humor. It is safe to give Donald Trump the benefit of the doubt here, but we will still file it under “bad humor” category.

Media

Full event, Trump’s comments are at the 1:08:30 mark.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt-PsacsckQ

Trump: ‘I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. This was much easier’

Without setting foot on a battlefield, Donald Trump said he received a Purple Heart medal on Tuesday at his rally in Ashburn, Virginia, from a retired lieutenant colonel and supporter.

“I said to him, ‘Is that like the real one, or is that a copy?” the Republican nominee said moments after taking the stage at a local high school.

Trump recounted the exchange, remarking that the man, who he identified as retired Lt. Col. Louis Dorfman said, “That’s my real Purple Heart. I have such confidence in you.”

“And I said, ‘Man, that’s like big stuff. I always wanted to get the Purple Heart,” Trump said. “This was much easier.”

Trump then invited Dorfman to appear onstage with him on camera, as the two posed for photographs and Trump flashed a thumbs-up before placing the Purple Heart back in his suit jacket pocket.

Trump then told his audience that he had asked Dorfman to speak, but that the man had told him, “No, sir. I’d just like you to keep saying what you’ve been saying.”

The Republican nominee has been under fire in recent days for his attacks on the Gold Star family of a fallen Muslim U.S. Army captain who spoke at last week’s Democratic National Convention to denounce Trump’s comments on immigration.

Following Trump’s statement, NBC reporter Katy Tur tweeted that she had spoken with Dorfman and that he said the medal he gave to Trump was a copy of the one awarded to him.

Dorfman was awarded the Purple Heart after being wounded in action in Iraq in 2007.

[Politico]

Trump Invites Russian Hackers To Influence the American Election

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump on Wednesday invited Russian hackers to find and publish Hillary Clinton’s emails.

“Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 [Clinton] emails that are missing,” Trump said at a press conference. “I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press. Let’s see if that happens. That’ll be nice.”

The remarks came after Clinton’s camp said this week that Russian hackers were likely responsible for breaching the computer networks of the Democratic National Committee earlier this year and leaking emails of top officials to WikiLeaks for publication.

The hack, which showed top staffers considering leaking negative information about Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders, led to chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz announcing her resignation.

“Russia has no respect for our country,” Trump said at the press conference. “And that’s why, if it is Russia, nobody even knows it’s Russia, it was probably China. … It shows how weak we are. It shows how disrespected we are.”

Trump also slammed the DNC for what was seen as conspiring against Sanders to ensure that Clinton won the Democratic nomination.

“I’m not gonna tell Putin what to do. Why should I tell Putin what to do?” Trump said. “It’s not even about Russia or China or whoever it is that’s doing the hacking. It’s about the things they said in those emails. They were terrible things.”

He also accused Clinton of being in on the conspiracy.

“Believe me, as sure as you’re sitting there, Hillary Clinton knew about it,” Trump said. “She knew everything. Debbie Wasserman Schultz could not breathe without speaking and getting approval from Hillary Clinton.”

Trump doubled down on his Russian hacker comments in a tweet after the press conference, but revised his language to say that if Russia already has emails, they should hand them over:

But his running mate, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, released a statement after the press conference that discouraged Russian involvement in a US election.

“The FBI will get to the bottom of who is behind the hacking,” Pence said in the statement. “If it is Russia and they are interfering in our elections, I can assure you both parties and the United States government will ensure there are serious consequences.”

A spokesman for House Speaker Paul Ryan issued a statement after the press conference pushing back on Trump’s comments.

“Russia is a global menace led by a devious thug,” Brendan Buck said, according to the statement. “Putin should stay out of this election.”

Clinton’s campaign also responded.

“This has to be the first time that a major presidential candidate has actively encouraged a foreign power to conduct espionage against his political opponent,” senior policy adviser Jake Sullivan said in a statement. “That’s not hyperbole, those are just the facts. This has gone from being a matter of curiosity, and a matter of politics, to being a national security issue.”

(h/t Business Insider)

Reality

This is a curious comment at a time when Trump’s Russian connections are being scrutinized. His campaign manager Paul Manafort, had worked as a consultant for the now-ousted pro-Russian government in Ukraine. And the Trump campaign worked like mad to include a more pro-Russian stance towards arming Ukraine to be added in the GOP platform.

Here’s what Trump is up to with the “Russia, please release Hillary’s 30,000 emails.” He’s intentionally conflating the State Department server with the DNC email hack so that in the minds of Americans, Hillary already had her emails hacked by Russia. But they’re two different email scandals.

Trump is trying to make them into one thing so he can say Hillary endangered national security when Russia hacked her email (which there’s no evidence they did.)

But… But… But… He was just joking!

I mean, this might have been an attempt at humor. At best one could argue Trump was half-joking, since a Russian hack would greatly benefit him and his chances of becoming president.

And if the argument really is that he is joking then to that we would say to even publicly joke that a foreign government spy on his political rival is in poor taste because it is rooting against an American, which is all beneath the office he is seeking.

But in the end… what is the punchline?

Media

Trump’s Plane Joke: It’s Mexico ‘Getting Ready to Attack’

Standing before a crowd outside the shuttered Osram Sylvania light-bulb factory in Manchester, New Hampshire, on Thursday, Donald Trump offered up the closed plant as a direct symptom of trade deals advocated by both Hillary Clinton and former President Bill Clinton.

He also joked that a plane flying overhead could be from Mexico and poised for attack.

“Mexico, and I respect Mexico, I respect their leaders, what they’ve done to us is incredible,” Trump said at the outdoor gathering, where a plane buzzed overhead. “Their leaders are so much smarter, so much sharper. And it’s incredible.”

Pointing to the sky, Trump mused, “in fact, that could be a Mexican plane up there. They’re getting ready to attack. So that’s the way it is, folks. I just want to say that this is a factory, and the legacy really of Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton because this legacy is largely due, you could actually say entirely due, to NAFTA.”

Media

Trump Tweets Image Comparing Wives With Cruz

The scuffle between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz over their wives escalated briefly late Wednesday night and early Thursday morning, after Trump retweeted an image comparing a photo of his wife Melania to Heidi Cruz.

“NO NEED TO ‘SPILL THE BEANS,'” the photo’s macro caption reads, over side-by-side images, one an unflattering screenshot of Heidi Cruz next to a glamour shot of Melania Trump. “THE IMAGES ARE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS.”

The Texas senator responded within the hour, tweeting, “Donald, real men don’t attack women. Your wife is lovely, and Heidi is the love of my life.”

Reality

This isn’t the first time Trump engaged in a dick measuring contest. While being overly sexist, his tasteless and crass humor should be reason alone to disqualify Trump for the presidency.

Please, someone convince me how this behavior can be seen as presidential. People who support Trump and choose to see past the sexist and dirty humor are simply refusing to see the big picture and must have no respect for our democracy.

Links

http://www.politico.com/blogs/2016-gop-primary-live-updates-and-results/2016/03/ted-cruz-trump-wives-feud-221187

Women Reading Donald Trump’s Sexist Comments About Women

The Republican group looking to block GOP presidential front-runner Donald Trump from the nomination is going on-air with an ad showing women reading some of his sharpest knocks on other women.

“Bimbo,” reads one woman.

“Dog,” reads another.

“Fat pig,” reads a third woman, as the ad, “Real quotes from Donald Trump about women,” is introduced.

“A woman who is very flat-chested is very hard to be a 10.”

Speaking of actress Nicollette Sheridan, Trump told Howard Stern back in 2005 that women, whom he apparently grades on a numeric scale based on their appearance, will have a hard time earning a “10” grade if they are “very flat-chested.”

“I’d look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers”

One of Trump’s worst moments may be his 2006 feud with Rosie O’Donnell, who criticized Trump for his support of Miss USA 2006 Tara Conner. Following the pageant, which Trump runs, Conner was found to have partook in underage drinking and drug abuse — a huge scandal for the pageant circle’s squeaky-clean image.

Trump’s tirade against O’Donnell:

Rosie O’Donnell is disgusting — both inside and out. If you take a look at her, she’s a slob. How does she even get on television? If I were running The View, I’d fire Rosie. I’d look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers and say, “Rosie, you’re fired.” We’re all a little chubby but Rosie’s just worse than most of us. But it’s not the chubbiness — Rosie is a very unattractive person, both inside and out.

“Look at that face. Would anyone vote for that?”

In September, Trump took aim at Republican opponent Carly Fiorina for “that face.”

“Can you imagine that, the face of our next president? I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not supposed to say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?” Trump blustered.

“She had the height, she had the beauty, she had the skin. She was crazy, but these are minor details”

Months after Princess Diana was killed in an automobile accident in 1997, Trump told Stern he thinks he could have slept with her, saying she had “supermodel beauty.” In a different interview in 2000, Trump said he would have slept with her “without hesitation” and that “she had the height, she had the beauty, she had the skin.” He added, “She was crazy, but these are minor details.”

“I like kids. I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids.”

In a separate 2005 interview in April, Trump talked about how he wanted to have more kids with newlywed wife Melania: “I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them.”

“You know, it doesn’t really matter what [the media] write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”

From an interview with Esquire in 1991.

“Must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees.”

Speaking to Brandie Roderick on Celebrity Apprentice.

“Blood coming out of here, wherever”

At the first Fox News Republican debate, Trump was unable to handle questions from Megyn Kelly.

“You have to treat ’em like shit.”

From New York magazine, Nov. 9, 1992.

Media

Links

http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/14/politics/donald-trump-ad-women/

http://www.dailywire.com/news/4157/7-quotes-show-donald-trump-doesnt-women-amanda-prestigiacomo

http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/donald-trump-said-a-lot-of-gross-things-about-women-on-howar#.rrEQ5nZ92v

Donald Trump Defends Size of His Penis

Trump shows the crowd his AAA battery sized fingers

Donald Trump assured American voters Thursday night that despite what Marco Rubio had suggested, there was “no problem” with the size of his hands — or anything else.

 “Look at those hands, are they small hands?” the front-runner for the GOP presidential nomination said, raising them for viewers to see. “And, he referred to my hands — ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

Reality

Commenting about the size and prowess of ones own genitals during a live presidential debate is the farthest possible thing from acting presidential. It’s a disgrace to the office and a disgrace to the political process.

Media

Links

http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/03/politics/donald-trump-small-hands-marco-rubio/

Donald Trump Mocks Hillary Clinton for Barking Like Dog

Donald Trump mocked Hillary Clinton on Tuesday for barking like a dog, branding the former secretary of state a ‘joke’, and vowed he would never do so because he said he would be pilloried in the media.

“If I ever did that, I would be ridiculed all over the place. I won’t do it. I’m not going to imitate her,” Trump said during a rally in North Augusta, South Carolina. “She’s barking like a dog, and they’re saying ‘wonderful.'”

Media

Links

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2016/feb/16/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-barking-speech-video

http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/16/politics/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-dog-bark/

Donald Trump Makes Ignorant Hat Joke to Turban-Clad Protester

Donald Trump’s tetchy relationship with protesters took another controversial turn on Sunday when he appeared to mock a turban-clad man ejected from a campaign rally in Iowa.

The incident began as Trump was inveighing against “radical Islamic terror,” a common theme in his stump speeches.

“Somebody has to say what’s going on,” he said roughly 15 minutes into an hour-long speech at Muscatine High School, before referencing the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks and the San Bernardino, Calif., shooting in December.

“When planes fly into the World Trade Center, and into the Pentagon, and wherever the third plane was going, when people are shooting their friends in California–” Trump said before abruptly pausing as his attention was drawn to the gym’s upper level, where a security guard and a police officer were confronting two protesters.

The protesters were trying to unveil a white sheet with the words “stop hate.” One of the protesters wore a beard and bright-red turban similar to those worn by Sikhs.

“Bye, bye,” Trump said sarcastically as the guard pushed the protester toward the exit and as the crowd began whistling. “Goodbye, goodbye.”

The capacity crowd then broke into chants of “U.S.A., U.S.A.,” before Trump appeared to make a quip about the protester’s turban, which was roughly the same color as Trump’s popular red “Make America Great Again” hats.

“He wasn’t wearing one of those hats was he?” Trump said, gesturing to a supporter’s hat and eliciting a laugh from the crowd.

“And he never will,” Trump continued, segueing back into his speech, “and that’s okay, because we got to do something folks because it’s not working.”

Reality

Sikh is not Muslim. Muslim is not Sikh. Read a little. You become less ignorant.

Media

Links

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/01/25/donald-trump-makes-hat-joke-as-turban-clad-protester-ejected-from-iowa-rally/

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